One of the hardest things about divorcing when you have a young family is figuring out how to make things work for the children. One of the options that is becoming more popular these days is co-parenting.
In this model, the parents work together to raise the children even though they live in different houses. This isn't always easy to do, but consider these tips to help make it a little easier on you.
Pay attention to communication methods
The words you use and the tone of your voice are important when you are discussing things with your ex. If all else fails, you can use a business-like tone so that you are getting your point across and still being respectful and inviting dialogue. It is usually best to take a break from a discussion if things become too tense. You also have the option of heading back to court for a modification if you simply can't work things out amicably.
Let your children be children
Your children need to focus on living a child's life. You should make sure that you aren't overwhelming your child with the burdens of adulthood. At no time should your child be placed between you and your ex during discussions. This means that you shouldn't use your children as a messenger or discuss contentious matters with your kids. Ultimately, you want your child to feel loved, safe and secure.
Focus on the memory making
As part of co-parenting, you and your ex will attend events and spend time with your child together sometimes. When you are spending time with your children, make sure that you focus on them and making memories. These times aren't an appropriate time to discuss heated topics with your ex. You don't want a disagreement to mar the memories you and your children have of the day. It might help to set clear rules for you, your ex and all family members to enjoy these events with your children.
Clarify plans and other points
Making sure that you know the plans and other important points related to the raising of the children is important. Clarify information about events and child exchanges. Take the time to discuss the rules that are going to be consistent between homes. The more you and your ex are able to plan and work together, the better the entire arrangement is likely to work.