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Divorce as a Consequence of Life

In the movies, the prevailing story arc bends toward successful resolution of conflict, usually between "diamonds in the rough". Epiphanies occur, differences get patched, circumstances are dealt with and everyone goes on to live in some configuration of happily ever after, full of love and mutual respect.

Life, however, doesn't present the neatness that screenwriters seem to prefer.

Sometimes, divorce happens to the marriages most earnestly started. People change, whether over the span of months, a few years or even a lot of years, and things occur (many of them petty) which, over time, can severely damage any relationship.

Sometimes, the trigger for a divorce can be as simple as interests and goals diverging to the point of irrevocable emotional distance. While sad, those broken unions are often the simplest to reckon with, inasmuch as the parties emerge from the proceedings in an initially uneasy truce and ready to face the challenges of cooperatively raising children or dividing assets and debt. All too often, however, uglier traits of human misbehavior bring about the dissolution - substance abuse, emotional and verbal abuse, physical violence, financial defalcation, compulsive gambling, sexual addictions - each which can make matters very difficult to sort out given the raw emotion at the heart of so much of the conflict. Compounding this raw emotion is the fact that frequently, one spouse will have spent an inordinate amount of energy on "fixing" or "saving" the wayward spouse from their own worst instincts; this leads to bitter rage on the part of the innocent, and sullen resentment on the part of the wayward, creating a poisoned climate moving forward.

In our experience, the best way to move forward is for the client to recognize that each party can only control themself going forward, and they can't control the other party. Solutions can be crafted so as to make an environment relatively safe for children with regard to parenting time allocations, and to robustly monitor the circumstances surrounding time spent with them. Liewise, orders can be crafted regarding interactions between spouses to make them less tense, less fraught with postential anger.

At our practice, we know how scary it is, and stand ready to help, guiding you to a resolution and a way to move life forward. Sometimes matters are simple, and other times, they involve a complex, comprehensive resolution of issues relating to custody, alimony and division of business assets. Whatever your problem, we can address the consequences.