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Avoiding Ridiculous Divorce Advice

Over the years, I've had occasion to deal with a surplus of ridiculous advice given to people facing the worst event of their lives - their divorce. This advice can create many problems - discord between litigant and lawyer, poor strategic decisions and unnecessary disputes between the litigants. Once the bad advice is given and taken to heart, it takes a great deal of time and effort to dispel and results in significant expense of the litigant.

Ridiculous advice can come in many forms, from family and co-workers, from odd acquaintances and the internet. Sometimes, it can be earnestly mistaken factoids about child support, custody or property division, and sometimes, it can take the form of a ludicrous internet screed about how great life is after dissolution.

The breakup of a family unit is a painful process, and there will always be a bittersweet air of lost opportunity, lost potential and not a small amount of sadness. Flippancy and bad advice do not help, and are in fact a hindrance to successful resolution of the issues involved. In my experience (nearly 25 years' worth), those who are most successful in this process have concentrated on the advice of those most able to help them through the tumult. Their lawyers, their therapists and their family members can do a wonderful job of restoring a sense of order and a sense of self-worth and can eliminate the searing sensations of chaos that people can feel in a relationship which is dissolving.

Through avoiding haphazard advice and acting in reliance on those who are genuinely trying to restore normalcy to life, a divorce litigant can endure something painful and can, in many ways, exit the process as a stronger person.